Kristy's last turn

It's my last day in Houston visiting the MD Anderson Cancer Center. And once again may I just say how surreal this experience is. Especially since Josh looks and feels so well. How can he be as sick as his blood counts say he is when he and I are laughing hilariously as we watch Psych? How can dangerous, aggressive chemo drugs be dripping into his PICC line when he hasn't thrown up once or lost his hair? But he is. And life in Houston continues for the Walton family. Dealing with a diagnosis of a rare form of leukemia.

So, for the details from the feminine perspective (however, they may be muddled as I am sleep deprived); Josh is just down to 2 chemo treatments a day-10 in the morning and 10 at night for only about 30 minutes each time. That allowed him to walk yesterday several times. Which only occurred with much threatening, or I mean encouragement. He and I spent the day together as Brian and Ilene and Sarah went out to lunch and to run some everyday type errands. (Although Ilene and I may not have gotten to the hospital until around noon). I slept in the hospital last night while Brian and Ilene were able to stay at the Ronald McDonald house. Ilene said Brian got to sleep in. Which I'm glad for as once he's spending the nights in the hospital again he will not get sleep. It was quite noisy last night and early morning here in the hospital. Ilene dealt with insurance companies and the business side of leukemia once again this morning. And I got to sit quietly while Josh slept and Brian went to his class on the care of the PICC line. Josh should be done with his chemo on Saturday morning and should be released to go somewhere on Sunday or Monday. Brian is working hard with the doctors to get him to go home. If that is not possible, because of how close he needs to be to a hospital, then at least to Amarillo. He will be home for about 4 weeks and then will need to return to Houston for another round of chemo. How long that round will be will depends on the results of his labs and another bone marrow biopsy. Wow. Craziness.

And now I head home to tightly hug my 3 children, who are teenagers and a preteen and will not appreciate it at all. And to hold my dear friend in my heart and shed my tears away from her. For I do not know how a mother handles this. Except to know our Savior and rely on him. I may have to go back and read Brian's thoughts once again.

This Is The Day That The Lord Has Made

Ilene, Sarah & I had lunch yesterday at Joes Crab Shack, Sarah's choice.

“This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Each morning as a staff when we get together to pray, Brother Bob, our Senior Adults

Minister would quote this scripture. It comes from Psalms 118. Bro Bob has experienced life and walked through the shadows of death. He has seen times of plenty and times of want. Bro Bob is never one to complain but even when we have faced

difficult times together, he reminds us that God made today, and gave it to us so that we could rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalms 118 starts with the author writing, “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.” It goes on and talks about being surrounded by trouble, being attacked from all sides by enemies, but the Lord being victorious.

The author although faced by difficulty, knows that the Lord will be victorious so he can with confidence say that the Lord is good.

Fun cards and pictures sent to Josh he has hung up in his room

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. Even though it feels like the walls are closing in around us, even though the enemy (Leukemia) is fighting against us, even though today, Josh’s blood counts are again down and he will need to get another blood transfusion. Even though as I type this, the internet connection here is down and I can’t fix it. This is the day, Wednesday, August 3, 2011, that the Lord has made. I choose to rejoice and be glad in it.

Whatever your circumstances are today, I encourage you to be glad today, because God made today and gave it to you. Let your light shine so that the 8-15 people that God has intentionally put around you will see His light in you.

Thanks for you prayers and phone calls and emails. They are a constant reminder that God has not abandoned us, that He does have a plan and he will walk with us through this valley in the shadow of death.

Today I took a class on how to change the dressing and flush

Josh's PICC Line

More on that later - after I demonstrate that I can

change the dressing myself.

My turn by Kristy

Wow! Now I really feel official since I get a turn to post on the Brian/Josh Walton blog. I think it's time for some female perspective! Brian gives facts like a man (of course, because he is!) But for those of you who are wondering, "What's it really like being there in the hospital, how's it feel?" I offer my thoughts. Life is very confined, is my first thought. When I first arrived in Houston, Ilene and I drove past the hospital and to a grocery store and a Quiznos. Since then, I have either been at the hospital or at the Ronald McDonald house. Three city blocks. A hospital room or a hotel-like room. But those are the only places I want to be. Because I'm able to be with Josh, Brian and Ilene have been able to do some of the daily life things that were slammed on hold with the diagnosis of leukemia. Yesterday, they went to the Apple store where Brian got his computer fixed and then they got a battery for their car. Daily things that need to be done but hard to do when you don't want to leave your child alone in a hospital room in a strange city. Meanwhile, I was in the hospital room with Josh, trying to get him to eat and drink. He ate a little bit but not a lot. He is drinking more now but he needs reminders. He talked on his cell phone quite a bit because the internet was unavailable. We played Uno. We talked. We watched Grown Ups and Twilight movies. He is not able to leave the floor because of the risk of infection and did not actually leave his room at all yesterday. Like I said, confining. I heard him tell his friend, "I have not been outside for more than five minutes since I went to the ER in Amarillo." Last night Brian stayed with Josh because he had a busy night getting transfusions after his chemo ended. Ilene, Sarah, and I tried to watch a movie but Ilene and I fell asleep so we just went to bed. The Ronald McDonald house is a nice place to stay, but it's not as comforting as home. This morning, while I slept in, my best friend, who's 17 year old son is battling leukemia--how surreal this all is--jumped out of bed around 5:30, I think. She's not sleeping well with all that's buzzing around in her mind. Because not only does she have her precious son (although he is 17 and maybe wasn't quite as precious before---perspective----) and his treatments and discharge planning on her mind, she has to deal with social workers and insurance companies and agencies to figure how to pay for this all. And also needs to make sure Sarah has enough clothes to go on her Walton family reunion trip. Which, by the way, was a trip the whole family was planning on taking (more details to deal with, change tickets, etc.). No wonder she's pouncing up with the dawn to take on the day. So, I'm here to do what little I can. Which is sit with Josh in the hospital room. And think of the day he came to Brian and Ilene, as a roly-poly baby. And think of the day in the judge's chambers when he legally became theirs, although he had been theirs from the first moment he was placed in their arms. And think of the moments through the years when Ilene and I had only sporadic contact because we were so busy raising babies and toddlers. But more regular interactions with her move to Texas and our children growing up. Oh, Josh just woke up and I need to go walking with him!!!! Maybe more of my thoughts later-------

Becoming Comfortable with the Uncomfortable

Ilene's friend from Arizona Kristy who has been a huge encouragement

When you have a life changing event happen in your life, for a while all of the new things you face are uncomfortable. We develop habits (some good and others bad) that tend to define our lives. It might be your morning routine or the TV show that you watch every night, but we all tend to be creatures of habit.

These last few weeks have taken us out of our comfort zones, changed our routine and exposed us to things that we never would have thought we would be comfortable with.

Josh's nurse Bella, changing the dressing on his PICC line.

I never thought I would see the day when I would be comfortable watching someone change a dressing on my son's PICC line, an IV tube that delivers chemo and other liquids into a vessel just above his heart. I never imagined that it would become a routine to be sitting in a hospital room watching one of my children fight cancer.

There are things in or lives that seem unthinkable until we find our selves doing them as a routine. In the book of Ephesians we are told:

Eph. 5:15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.

The apostle Paul's point is that we need to be intentional about our daily lives. We need to develop habits that are good and healthy and godly. Earlier in the 5th chapter, Paul lists some of the things we need to stop doing.

Eph. 5:3 Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. 4 Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.

There are times in our lives when we let things creep into our routines. It may happen gradually or suddenly. Sometimes it may even feel like the circumstances are out of our control. But its then that we need to be careful how we live.

The Apostle Peter wrote that as Christ followers we should:

1Pet. 3:8 ..... be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 10 For the Scriptures say,

“If you want to enjoy life

and see many happy days,

keep your tongue from speaking evil

and your lips from telling lies.

11 Turn away from evil and do good.

Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

Those are difficult things to do, but the promise that comes with doing those things is that the Lord watches over those who do these things and He hears and answers their prayers.

I think we all have things in our lives that we would like God to change. Heal a sick child, put food on the table, provide gainful employment, heal a broken heart. We all have things we would ask God for. Some of them He wants for us, but He tells us what is best for us.

Micah 6:8

No, O people, the LORD has told you what is good,

and this is what he requires of you:

to do what is right, to love mercy,

and to walk humbly with your God.

So today look at those routines, the habits that order your day and ask if they are moving you toward a life of mercy, humility and living rightly.

Thank you for your continued prayer. Josh received 2 units of blood and a unit of platelets last night. he has not experienced any major side effects other than the low blood pressure. He is having difficulty tasting things so he does not want to eat, so continue to pray that he will have an appetite.

We are beginning to make plans for him being discharged next week. We are praying that we can come back to Dalhart. The doctor said that as long as he can be treated with IV antibiotics and given a blood transfusion with 30 minutes, he would release him, so the doctor will call Dalhart this week to make arrangements.

Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement.

Another Monday

Last night one of Ilene's best friends from Arizona flew in to see us and encourage us for a few days. She graciously offered to spend the night here in the hospital with Josh so that I could get an uninterrupted night of sleep, so this morning I feel rested thanks to Kristy. I am sure Josh will put up a blog later today sharing about all of his adventures with Kristy last night.

Ilene, Sarah and I were able to walk down to the gym this morning and workout for about an hour. It is such a blessing to feel your prayers at work and see God's children doing more than pray. Our Sunday School class studied the book of James last Fall and we came to the verse in Chapter 2 where it talks about faith without works is useless. The class spent time talking about how we can live out or faith and had the opportunity during those discussions to help some of the families in practical ways. We have been blessed by brothers and sisters in Christ who have a living and active faith.

The other lesson we are learning from James is the lesson from James Chapter 1. There are many situations in life where we face difficulties that cause us to ask those why questions. James starts by writing:

² Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

For three weeks no we have been waking up each day not knowing what the day will hold. The regular routine of our lives, the predictable outcomes of each day have been stripped away and replaced by an ever changing roller-coaster of emotions and new challenges. But we know that God is giving our faith a chance to grow, and with that in mind we know that it will be an opportunity for great joy.

For the last few days each morning, Josh's blood pressure has been dropping. This is one of the side effects of the chemo that they are watching closely. Along with his blood pressure, his blood counts are dropping as well. His hemoglobin has dropped back down below 8, so after chemo today, they will give him a blood transfusion.

He has still not experienced any other side effects which we are thankful for, but continue to pray that the cancer cells will be killed off and that they will not grow back. Please also pray that he stays healthy as any infection right now could be very serious.

Please keep us in your prayers also as along with dealing with the doctors and treatment plans, we are also dealing with the insurance company and seeking favor from them regarding his treatment.

Thank you for your continued prayers. The comments that you leave and the emails and texts are a huge encouragement to us.