Discouragement That Kills Joy

After a long day of running around the hospital getting tests we were finally given a room around 2pm. We are thankful that we are back on the pediatrics floor. It didn't take us long to get unpacked and settled in. We know the routine well enough to begin negotiating schedules for the chemotherapy treatments to try and work around a practical sleep schedule.

They started Josh's chemo around 6 pm. He get 3 different types of chemo over an 8 day period of time. Josh is not excited about being here (nor are we as there are many other places that we would rather be) and we are praying that this round will go smoothly. Our prayer is that we could be headed home shortly after he finishes chemo on September 8th.

One of the challenges we are facing is discouragement. Josh is feeling pretty good, so he has a hard time realizing that he is sick. When he feels good, he doesn't see any reason to be in the hospital. Some of his test results came back and the first round of chemo did a good job of killing off the leukemia cells. Although his blood numbers are still a little low, they have been trending up.

It is easy to get discouraged when the routines in your life turn into ruts. When you get stuck doing things over and over again that aren't fun, it is easy to loose hope and joy. This morning I was beginning to feel discouraged, tired of being in the hospital, tired of watching them give Josh medication that makes him sick. Tired of watching them do things that hurt him (the bone marrow biopsy left his hip very sore yesterday).

So this morning as I started looking at my devotions, I just felt tired and empty. I went to a website of a church where a friend is the pastor and watched the weekend service. He was teaching from John 15. I was reminded that joy is one of the fruits of the spirit, and that our joy comes from God and not as a response to our circumstances.

To be honest, there is very little in our day to day lives that would bring us joy. Most of our days are filled with beeping IV's, blood draws, chemotherapy treatments and nurses checking Josh's vitals. There is not much to get exited about.

It would be easy to let the circumstances we are in dictate our attitude. But if we did that we would lose sight of what God is doing. You see, even though we are 700 miles from home, God has provided a way for us to stay connected to Him. Each day as I read His word, He refreshes me and encourages me. Everyday He puts people in our path who bless us and encourage us like Wayne and Debby who picked up our car yesterday and took it to a shop to get fixed.

Last night, another new friend, Aileen brought us dinner, while some other friends picked up Sarah and took her to their youth group. As discouraging as it can be to face a serious illness and hospitalization, when our eyes are on what God is doing, we can still find joy. We know that God loves us and as we intentionally stay connected to Him through daily Bible reading, honest prayer and allowing people who we have just met minister to us, we are experiencing Gods love in tangible ways.

We have to intentionally take our eyes off of ourselves and our circumstances and look to see what He is doing around us and choose to be a part of His work.

Thanks for your continued prays. We will try to get some pictures up later today and see if Josh will do another hat / beanie contest.