Back Home For Now

The ride home from Houston - helped along by Starbucks

Part of the greeting committee

It was wonderful to spend the night in our own beds in our own home. Josh slept well. Still no fevers. Other than Dad checking his temperature at 4am, he wasn't awakened by nurses taking his vital signs every 4 hours and having blood drawn at 4 am.

I woke him up at 8am to flush his PICC line (I inject heparin into his IV to make sure it doesn't get clogged) and gave him his medication.

Then I headed off to work. It was a strange feeling to come back to the office and begin thinking through what needed to happen today. It made me think about how much we base our identity on our jobs (especially as men). Whether we love our jobs or hate them, we tend to see ourselves (and expect others to approve or disapprove of us) based on what we do for work.

I have, in the past, been so shallow as to make a decision to change jobs based on what I thought others would think of me or how I thought it would improve my self worth (or net worth). But when we base our identity or self worth on what others think, or even on what we think of ourselves, we are missing the point.

I have learned, this last month, that God doesn't get excited about how good I am, or how smart or strong I am. He doesn't even need me to make a lot of money or be the best pastor or salesman or farmer that there is. In Psalm 147 we are told:

¹⁰ His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
¹¹ the LORD delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.

What the psalmist is telling us in this passage, is that God isn't impressed by a strong horse (or more powerful tractor) and He doesn't need a strong or well equipped army to win the battle. He is doing the work. He is bringing people to Himself, building them up, blessing them, showing the world what it means to be His child, and He just wants me to "fear Him" and "put my hope" in His unfailing love.

So then what does He want from us? The last verse in Psalm 147 tells us.

Praise Him. Praise the Lord.

Praise Him because he gave us peace, protection, food, blessings and His word to instruct us. Praise Him because He wants to do His work in spite of my weaknesses.

Praise Him by telling others how He has been faithful to me in my time of crisis. Praise Him that even as we wake up each day unsure of what will happen next with our medical journey, we know that He will be there; and He will be faithful. I am so thankful that my identity can be found in a God who adopted me as His son, and that He chooses to bless me, just so that others will see it, and will want to become His children also.